Intro to Codependence

Chapter 4: Love Systems


Next live webinar: Chapter 5: Ceasing Control

Tuesday, April 8th at 9:30 am

To watch recorded webinar, click here:

Yesterday we completed Chapter 4 on Love Systems, and I am reminded that this subject only scratches the surface. Learning God’s love is the journey, and we only getting started. It may seem like a simplified and even “pat” answer to claim God’s love as the remedy. But that’s because often our own interpretation of love has been extremely misaligned with its reality. Love isn’t something we will intellectually perceive of, it will require a condition of heart where God is able to pour it into us. In fact, authentic love isn’t even derived from us, it’s a byproduct of the Holy Spirit. Thus all that is required is a connection where He can fill us up, and we can in turn carry that love. Once we carry it, we can give it away. We decided to therefore destroy the concept of J-O-Y (Jesus – Others- Yourself). Instead, we need receive love from Jesus, accept love into our heart, and then give it away to others.

To do this, we only need to have willing, humble and open hearts. God will never bypass us. He does not require we get right with Him first. We are not a burden to Him. He has a passionate interest in being relationally intimate with us as an individual.

That personal relationship is a journey that happens more in the quietness of alone time with Him, rather than the busyness of trying to “figure it out.” What does that mean? If you struggle with how to receive God’s love, spend some time with Him, the person of Jesus Christ, not the theology of Him. Begin to dialogue the contents of your authentic heart – whatever there is inside. Ask Him to help you. There are two motions necessary. One, we must learn to give Him the things that weigh us down, and be willing to release to Him our effort and striving. Two, we must receive His love freely, with no price attached. If you could visualize this, it would be laying the hurts and pains at His feet, and then grabbling His hand to receive the resources He provides.

Understanding God’s love will begin by default to resolve some of the unhealthy love styles we adapted throughout our lives. God completely understands the “whys” of your life. He is absolutely aware of what you struggle with and how earnestly you desire to learn how to love as He intended. Therefore, as He reveals mentalities that need to change, He is loving you. He is not hitting you over the head, demanding or trying to force behavioral changes into your life immediately. He simply wants you to see, comprehend and know that yes, there is more. Yes, He is real.


Read Chapter 5 and answer all the questions. This subject is the perfect transition from the subject of last week. That’s because our relationship with Him rests on our ability to trust and surrender to Him.

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