Intro to Codependence, Other

Chapter 9: Offering Forgiveness


View Recording Chapter 9: Offering Forgiveness

Next live webinar: Tuesday, May 20th at 9:30 am
Chapter 10: Embracing Identity

I have been blessed beyond measure with this workshop, and the willingness of the hearts of those who are participating. May I just say that your willingness determines the outcome, not the program itself? When you become ready to allow God to work according to His ways, He will have to honor His Word and His promises. He will have to be faithful to who He is. He will be obligated to work out what you ask Him to on your behalf. And He will be required to complete what He has begun!  What a wonderful truth!

Letting go of our own self efforts is perhaps the most difficult aspect of any. In other words, we give up our right to continue to manage our life on our own. This week we talked about forgiving others, and this is where we quickly discover that apart from grace, we are incapable.  Unless we agree with God and allow His ways to govern our response to the pain that was done against us, we won’t be able to move forward. This is why we need revelation of the heart of God. When we discover the radical nature of His love for us, we also can become willing to trust and agree with His ways. I loved this picture of people abandoning themselves from a cliff, fully dependent on the parachute to catch them. Imagine if we could abandon ourselves to God in the same manner. To “jump off the cliff” into new areas of healing feeling assured that He will have to catch us.

Forgiveness is at the heart of all forms of redemption, and in fact is the reason why Jesus came.  In our own healing, it’s important to understand that forgiveness extends further than simply letting someone off the hook. Forgiveness furthermore will not require we be “okay” with the violation itself. Never! God hates the violation and so can we! Rather, forgiveness is the ointment that brings healing to our wounds. It places a means to have the wound cleansed, and thus it can now begin to heal. It can allow us to become who God created us to be. Without a spiritual remedy, the sin done against us will be empowered, and it will cause unthinkable levels of damage. We will stay connected to the very violations we had been trying to escape. We will lose our identity and become victims of the past, rather than victorious through the blood of Jesus.

Forgiveness gets delayed for a lot of reasons. First and foremost, it’s hard! Second, we have to understand that in some ways bitterness and resentments act as coping mechanisms or drugs. They may not resolve the problems, but they have their own form of “empowerment”. However, the power of resentments will lead us away from God’s purposes, creating a hardened heart. On the other hand, forgiving makes us vulnerable to have to feel and face the violations. It then aligns with God’s healing. It softens our hearts and allows us the opportunity to experience intimacy with God, and eventually with others. It also allows us to begin the process of grieving, where God will further teach us how He desires to literally detox our soul by “feeling to heal.”

Next week is my favorite chapter in the book! We will be looking at Chapter 10: Embracing Identity. I will not be here to share with you, but I know you will be blessed by sister in Christ Cecilia, who has a beautiful way of articulating these truths.

1 thought on “Chapter 9: Offering Forgiveness”

  1. Hi Stephanie! Thanks for everything. I have learned so much, and God has been in the center of it. He has brought about a lot of good change for me. Also, I was trying to sign up for the class starting in June on Wed. nights. Will this become available for us to sign up? Thanks!

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