Author: Stephanie Tucker, DMin, CATC, MDAAC

Watch the webinar on Chapter 11: Building Healthy Boundaries

http://www.instantpresenter.com/nlsr/EB52DE81884D

Next live webinar:

Tuesday, June 6th at 9:30

Access:

www.instantpresenter.com/nlsr4

I apologize for the delayed blogging this week. I have had quite a week! But I’m SO excited to finish our workshop and hear testimonies from the brave men and women who have chosen to work through this process. We will have a teaching and wrap up session, along with prayer (of course). I want to offer some direction as to the “next steps” and have everyone come up with at least one thing to do following the completion of Tuesday’s class.

I decided to use the blog on this subject from last year, as it perfectly describes what we discussed in this class. If you didn’t get a chance to watch the webinar, I encourage you to catch up. It’s a packed one!

Understanding Boundaries

For most of, we are looking for tangible methods and tools to resolve the problem areas in our lives. When we begin to discover the ways we have allowed negative people and things into our lives, a “boundary” seems like it will hold all the answers! If we could just “figure out” the right boundary formula, then certainly we could master how to fix the things that aren’t working. But in truth, unhealthy boundaries are an effect, not a cause of the troubled areas in our lives. In fact, however we function outwardly in our boundary style is simply a reflection of something that is occurring at an inner level. Most often, we had a distorted understanding of our own identity and sense of worth, thus we didn’t know how to protect the “lines” in our life in a positive way. What we didn’t see as precious, we couldn’t defend. What we didn’t know as definitive of who we were, we couldn’t prevent from losing. In fact, our lives got so muddled down because we weren’t able to differentiate God’s purposes from what the people and circumstances spoke over us. We furthermore often mistook “love” for “compliance, and took on the wrongful attributes of relationships as a guiding point.

Defining and understanding the purpose of boundaries is critical, because from here on out, everything that we will be doing will be in this area. God is preparing to make us functional, whole, complete people in Him – with the capacity to see life, to feel feelings and engage with others in a healthy way. We are going to begin to learn how to transfer our external reference point of people, to the internal reference point of the Holy Spirit. In other words, we will learn to make decisions of what is allowed in our lives based on God’s point of view. When this happens, boundaries begin to automatically emerge. These boundaries will in many ways operate as a gated system. It won’t lock us in, or force people out. Rather, God’s wisdom will enable us to pick and choose what’s right or wrong, allowable or “not okay” in a given situation. Picture Jesus being the guardsman at the gate!

By understanding ourselves, our design, our preciousness, our worth and God’s plan for us, we will recognize the important of the protective nature of a boundary. But take heed! Boundaries will not simply cause us to self-protect, instead they will begin to sort, sift and align us to God’s purposes. And ultimately, that purpose is TO LOVE OTHERS AS HE LOVES US! God won’t mandate that we simply “throw people out” in the name of a boundary, rather, He will teach us how to love them the way He loves them – with a pure and holy redemptive agenda for their lives.
This will not happen immediately, so if you are just beginning, don’t grow weary! We are only beginning!

Next live webinar: Tuesday, May 27th at 9:30 am

Access: www.instantpresenter.com/nlsr4

 Recording from Chapter 10 on Identity

I missed everyone on Tuesday, but I heard you had a great class! Thanks to our team Cecilia and Lynne for helping out! We only have two classes left! Next week we’ll be discussing boundaries, and the significance of implementing them now and as a long-term prescription to codependent prevention. Sound good? Don’t miss it!

As I mentioned already, Chapter 10 is my favorite chapter. That’s because it encompasses the authentic nature of God’s purposes in our lives. God isn’t seeking to dismantle and destroy our lives, He seeks to purify and restore us into the person He intended we’d become. From there, He needs to begin to teach us how to learn life through His filter, under the guidance of His leadership.

Transitioning from self-effort, self-protection and control to God dependence, God protection and God control is quite a huge change! But it is where that “abundant” life begins that we hear so much about in the Word. Walking in abundance isn’t about what we “get” from God in a material sense. It may not even initially cause a major effect on our relationships. What it secures is a deep, deep sense of love, comfort, acceptance, belonging and purpose. We learn to be in His arms, secured by Him, kept by Him. And since He IS the God of the Universe and owns all power of heaven AND earth, that is a pretty amazing reality.

If you feel you are still sifting and sorting through the issues of the past, God will meet where you are right now. Ultimately, forgiveness needs to be applied before the authentic purposes of your life can be attained. Yes, forgiveness is THAT important. If you are struggling with Chapter 8 and 9, continue to stay where God leads. He needs to release the shame, grant you forgiveness, help you forgive those have violated you and then take your hand and walk you into the life He designed for you. Can He do it? YES! Right now, it may still be a theology. But the God of the Bible wants to be a living, active reality in your life. He wants to swoop you into His purposes. Wait on Him. Trust Him. Believe He can. And not only can He, He wants to. Because He loves you.