Intro to Codependence

Chapter 3: Emotional Strongholds

image24Hello everyone! We made it through a fabulous class! A few technical glitches  caused minor disruptions in the recording, but they are hardly noticeable. For those in our live webinar discussion group, we have a plan in place long-term and also a back-up phone line in the event we experience difficulties with our provider as we did this week. Our desire is to be begin live streaming our sessions beginning in December. Continue to log in as you normally do, and I will provide instructions during the class as to how we will make that transition.

For those of you on-site, thank you so much for continuing to oblige to our parking restrictions! It is NOT deterring anyone from coming and that is such a blessing to witness!

Below please find the webinar recording, audio recoring and two different handouts – powerpoint and a handout on Body, Soul and Spirit.

Next week we will be covering Love Systems in Chapter 4. I can’t think of a better subject! Hope to see you then!

Audio Recording

 

Webinar Recordings

Download Handouts

Chapter 3 Notes

Body, Soul Spirit Handout

A House that Grace Built

AHTGB: Chapter 1: The Task of Rebuilding

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We had a great class, but I apologize to those on the webinar who lost the video connection. Hang in there! We’ll have better connection equipment soon! Also, for those who had a chance to share in small groups and the online chat, thank you! Connection will be a theme, and this is a healthy and positive environment where we can learn the benefits of sharing from the heart and being vulnerable.

Chapter 1 dealt primarily with the principles of surrender, rebuilding, relating to God in love and understanding the power of the Holy Spirit. The crumbling house we are talking about in this chapter is the nature of our codependence – which appears in the form of self-sufficiency. It is the mind-set of being orphaned, and having to manage life without necessary resources. But because God is invited to the scene of “wreckage”, watching the house fall down is something to embrace. It’s burden, it’s lie, it’s stronghold are what God wants to throw away. In it’s place, He read, able and competent to rebuild.

Transaction for the Week:

Am I ready, if I haven’t already, to let the crumbling house fall down the cliff? Do I EXPECT God to be there to catch me, and begin to rebuild His way? Do I believe that He can?  Do I believe He loves me and wants to?

Next week:

Read Chapter 2 and answer the questions in the workbook. Also, begin the habit of journaling as discussed in Chapter 1. It is vital to learn the relational style that it addresses.

Class Recording (Audio Only)

Download Notes

Chapter 1 for download

Intro to Codependence

Intro to Coda: Chapter 2 – Family Systems

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Thank you everyone who participated in today’s class. Our on-site group participants were troopers, and cooperated with our no-parking restrictions. We are so grateful and thankful for the efforts and understanding. Our live discussion group also endured their challenges, but we were able to pull through and it was a really sweet time. I am considering live streaming software options as opposed to a webinar format as we prepare to move to an upgraded facility. I will keep you posted!

Today’s class dealt with the sometime difficult subject but life changing conversation of Family Systems.  We pray that God will minister to each of you individually as you process through this. What’s pressing on my heart is that so many times people have a faulty concept of God the Father. And in seeing Him inaccurately, it’s hard to embrace His plans and purposes for us. Usually this tainted interpretation of His character comes through our parental or other authoritative figures. Thus we impose a human character on top of God. Through healing and recovery, we seek to do the opposite. We allow God to impose Himself on top of the human relationships that have failed us. In doing so, God can begin to prove that He is enough, that He is sufficient, and that He can deal with both our wounds and the areas where we had a need that was unmet.

Listen to the Audio

Watch the Webinar Video

Download Class Notes

Codependence Workshop 2

Next Week:

Read Chapter 3 and prepare the application points for group discussion!

A House that Grace Built

Introduction to A House that Grace Built

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I love this picture of Jesus. It is the passionate and priceless picture of the work He wants to do in each of us – to teach us connection, to teach us love. Many of us lost out as children, but the love of Jesus will meet us, and it will propel us into freedom. It will help us become who He intended and designed us to be! Some of us will need to be nurtured and satisfied in His grasp more intentionally – others of us will begin to carry it out and bring it to others. There is nothing gimmicky about this – real Jesus love is the potent force on earth. It should ROCK our world!

It’s been more than two years since I taught this class, and I’m blessed, excited and honored to be working with you through this process. I need to use this blog to communicate both to webinar and our onsite classes. If you will be watching much later down the line, you can disregard some of these notes and simply click on the links below!

On-Site:

Wow! So many of you showed up despite the difficulty with parking! Thank you so much for cooperating with our no parking policy in our lot. I didn’t expect anyone, and instead we had a full house! It’s so important that we stick to it. I know it’s a bit of inconvenience, but that seems to be the theme here!  I am going to pray blessings that it will be worth it! For those of you that opted to stay home or watch the webinar, we completely understand. We are considering pursuing some different options for an evening group! I’ll keep you posted!

Webinar:

The recordings are posted below for both audio and video. Our video will be drastically upgraded in a few weeks, so please hang in there! About three more weeks!

Recorded Webinar:

Recorded Audio:

Download Notes:

To download notes, click here

Homework: 

Next week we will cover Chapter 1. Please read the Chapter and fill out the questions in the workbook.

Intro to Codependence

Introduction to Codependence Workshop

Webinar Video: (You can watch the full size by  pressing play, clicking the “share” button and then clicking “download”)

Download Notes:

To download class notes,click here

Audio:

Welcome!!! I’m blessed and excited to have met you and engaged in our first class! It is a wild ride, but one worth having. I pray that you can strap on your seat belt, lean back and let the journey emerge as God intends. While this is a “process”, God is in control. He works individually and meticulously to personalize this and help us gain access to the needs and areas of healing that are required.

Whether you are on-site or on webinar, our prayer is that you feel included and called by God to begin the journey towards freedom. We all have to begin somewhere, so today we focused upon the theme of freedom versus bondage. Understanding where we are right now is imperative and influential as to what steps are necessary to be taken to bring us from where we have been to where God wants to bring us. Our own “Egypt” entails a set of circumstances and situations that are unique. But the basic concept of living in bondage applies to each of us. The question is…..are you ready to be released and will you let God have His way?

I have a tremendous vantage point. You may see the mountain before you, but I’ve seen the other side: not only in my life but in the lives of hundreds of others. And because of that, I’m here to coach, encourage and edify. By myself, I do not have much to offer. But in Him, I am positive and confident that the mountain can be conquered in Jesus name.

Format: 

I will blog in this format each week and post it under the proper class. You have the choice to watch webinar or audio.

Access: 

Access information will remain the same, and therefore you can jump to the home page and click the appropriate links each week.

Homework: 

Please read Chapter 1 and answer the questions. We will be breaking into groups next week! On-line will have a discussion group just as our on-site groups experience. We have some handy features on the webinar that will assist in this transition.

Next live webinar:

Tuesday, October 28th at 10:30 am

Christian Families in Recovery, Other

Christian Families in Recovery and Other Workshops

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We excited to offer a new workshop this Fall based on the recently released title Christian Families in Recovery by Robert and Stephanie Tucker.  If you or someone you knows just needs to the gift of understanding and some practical tools to combat addiction or participate in recovery in a healthy way, this is a wonderful option. It will offer a basic understanding of addiction from a Christian perspective, along with the ways that addiction seeps into the family system and hurts everyone involved. Most important, it’s packed full of the hope of redemption and the authentic ways God seeks to intervene and restore family members individually and as a whole.

Like all our workshops, this is available live (only a few spaces are left) or via webinar.

Click here to find more details or learn about the other workshops we will be offering!

Hope to see you in the Fall!

With grace,

Stephanie Tucker

Intro to Codependence, Other

Building Healthy Boundaries

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Watch the webinar on Chapter 11: Building Healthy Boundaries

http://www.instantpresenter.com/nlsr/EB52DE81884D

Next live webinar:

Tuesday, June 6th at 9:30

Access:

www.instantpresenter.com/nlsr4

I apologize for the delayed blogging this week. I have had quite a week! But I’m SO excited to finish our workshop and hear testimonies from the brave men and women who have chosen to work through this process. We will have a teaching and wrap up session, along with prayer (of course). I want to offer some direction as to the “next steps” and have everyone come up with at least one thing to do following the completion of Tuesday’s class.

I decided to use the blog on this subject from last year, as it perfectly describes what we discussed in this class. If you didn’t get a chance to watch the webinar, I encourage you to catch up. It’s a packed one!

Understanding Boundaries

For most of, we are looking for tangible methods and tools to resolve the problem areas in our lives. When we begin to discover the ways we have allowed negative people and things into our lives, a “boundary” seems like it will hold all the answers! If we could just “figure out” the right boundary formula, then certainly we could master how to fix the things that aren’t working. But in truth, unhealthy boundaries are an effect, not a cause of the troubled areas in our lives. In fact, however we function outwardly in our boundary style is simply a reflection of something that is occurring at an inner level. Most often, we had a distorted understanding of our own identity and sense of worth, thus we didn’t know how to protect the “lines” in our life in a positive way. What we didn’t see as precious, we couldn’t defend. What we didn’t know as definitive of who we were, we couldn’t prevent from losing. In fact, our lives got so muddled down because we weren’t able to differentiate God’s purposes from what the people and circumstances spoke over us. We furthermore often mistook “love” for “compliance, and took on the wrongful attributes of relationships as a guiding point.

Defining and understanding the purpose of boundaries is critical, because from here on out, everything that we will be doing will be in this area. God is preparing to make us functional, whole, complete people in Him – with the capacity to see life, to feel feelings and engage with others in a healthy way. We are going to begin to learn how to transfer our external reference point of people, to the internal reference point of the Holy Spirit. In other words, we will learn to make decisions of what is allowed in our lives based on God’s point of view. When this happens, boundaries begin to automatically emerge. These boundaries will in many ways operate as a gated system. It won’t lock us in, or force people out. Rather, God’s wisdom will enable us to pick and choose what’s right or wrong, allowable or “not okay” in a given situation. Picture Jesus being the guardsman at the gate!

By understanding ourselves, our design, our preciousness, our worth and God’s plan for us, we will recognize the important of the protective nature of a boundary. But take heed! Boundaries will not simply cause us to self-protect, instead they will begin to sort, sift and align us to God’s purposes. And ultimately, that purpose is TO LOVE OTHERS AS HE LOVES US! God won’t mandate that we simply “throw people out” in the name of a boundary, rather, He will teach us how to love them the way He loves them – with a pure and holy redemptive agenda for their lives.
This will not happen immediately, so if you are just beginning, don’t grow weary! We are only beginning!

Intro to Codependence, Other

Embracing Authentic Identity

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Next live webinar: Tuesday, May 27th at 9:30 am

Access: www.instantpresenter.com/nlsr4

 Recording from Chapter 10 on Identity

I missed everyone on Tuesday, but I heard you had a great class! Thanks to our team Cecilia and Lynne for helping out! We only have two classes left! Next week we’ll be discussing boundaries, and the significance of implementing them now and as a long-term prescription to codependent prevention. Sound good? Don’t miss it!

As I mentioned already, Chapter 10 is my favorite chapter. That’s because it encompasses the authentic nature of God’s purposes in our lives. God isn’t seeking to dismantle and destroy our lives, He seeks to purify and restore us into the person He intended we’d become. From there, He needs to begin to teach us how to learn life through His filter, under the guidance of His leadership.

Transitioning from self-effort, self-protection and control to God dependence, God protection and God control is quite a huge change! But it is where that “abundant” life begins that we hear so much about in the Word. Walking in abundance isn’t about what we “get” from God in a material sense. It may not even initially cause a major effect on our relationships. What it secures is a deep, deep sense of love, comfort, acceptance, belonging and purpose. We learn to be in His arms, secured by Him, kept by Him. And since He IS the God of the Universe and owns all power of heaven AND earth, that is a pretty amazing reality.

If you feel you are still sifting and sorting through the issues of the past, God will meet where you are right now. Ultimately, forgiveness needs to be applied before the authentic purposes of your life can be attained. Yes, forgiveness is THAT important. If you are struggling with Chapter 8 and 9, continue to stay where God leads. He needs to release the shame, grant you forgiveness, help you forgive those have violated you and then take your hand and walk you into the life He designed for you. Can He do it? YES! Right now, it may still be a theology. But the God of the Bible wants to be a living, active reality in your life. He wants to swoop you into His purposes. Wait on Him. Trust Him. Believe He can. And not only can He, He wants to. Because He loves you.

Intro to Codependence, Other

Chapter 9: Offering Forgiveness

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View Recording Chapter 9: Offering Forgiveness

http://www.instantpresenter.com/nlsr/EB51D7898347

Next live webinar: Tuesday, May 20th at 9:30 am
Chapter 10: Embracing Identity

www.instantpresenter.com/nlsr4

I have been blessed beyond measure with this workshop, and the willingness of the hearts of those who are participating. May I just say that your willingness determines the outcome, not the program itself? When you become ready to allow God to work according to His ways, He will have to honor His Word and His promises. He will have to be faithful to who He is. He will be obligated to work out what you ask Him to on your behalf. And He will be required to complete what He has begun!  What a wonderful truth!

Letting go of our own self efforts is perhaps the most difficult aspect of any. In other words, we give up our right to continue to manage our life on our own. This week we talked about forgiving others, and this is where we quickly discover that apart from grace, we are incapable.  Unless we agree with God and allow His ways to govern our response to the pain that was done against us, we won’t be able to move forward. This is why we need revelation of the heart of God. When we discover the radical nature of His love for us, we also can become willing to trust and agree with His ways. I loved this picture of people abandoning themselves from a cliff, fully dependent on the parachute to catch them. Imagine if we could abandon ourselves to God in the same manner. To “jump off the cliff” into new areas of healing feeling assured that He will have to catch us.

Forgiveness is at the heart of all forms of redemption, and in fact is the reason why Jesus came.  In our own healing, it’s important to understand that forgiveness extends further than simply letting someone off the hook. Forgiveness furthermore will not require we be “okay” with the violation itself. Never! God hates the violation and so can we! Rather, forgiveness is the ointment that brings healing to our wounds. It places a means to have the wound cleansed, and thus it can now begin to heal. It can allow us to become who God created us to be. Without a spiritual remedy, the sin done against us will be empowered, and it will cause unthinkable levels of damage. We will stay connected to the very violations we had been trying to escape. We will lose our identity and become victims of the past, rather than victorious through the blood of Jesus.

Forgiveness gets delayed for a lot of reasons. First and foremost, it’s hard! Second, we have to understand that in some ways bitterness and resentments act as coping mechanisms or drugs. They may not resolve the problems, but they have their own form of “empowerment”. However, the power of resentments will lead us away from God’s purposes, creating a hardened heart. On the other hand, forgiving makes us vulnerable to have to feel and face the violations. It then aligns with God’s healing. It softens our hearts and allows us the opportunity to experience intimacy with God, and eventually with others. It also allows us to begin the process of grieving, where God will further teach us how He desires to literally detox our soul by “feeling to heal.”

Next week is my favorite chapter in the book! We will be looking at Chapter 10: Embracing Identity. I will not be here to share with you, but I know you will be blessed by sister in Christ Cecilia, who has a beautiful way of articulating these truths.